Disclaimer in Chapter 0. This is the Prologue. *********** THE LOST LAND "I have two daughters. They are all I ever wanted from the earth. Or almost all. I also wanted one piece of ground: One city trapped by hills. One urban river. An island in its element. So I could say MINE. MY OWN. And mean it..... At night, on the edge of sleep, I can see the shore of Dublin Bay. Its rocky sweep and its granite pier. Is this, I say how they must have seen it, backing out on the mailboat at twilight, shadows falling on everything they had to leave? And would love forever?.... I see myself on the underworld side of that water, the darkness coming in fast, saying all the names I know for a lost land: Ireland. Absence. Daughter. -- Eavan Boland, excerpts from "The Lost Land" ************ EDEN, SAPPHIRE COAST SOUTH COAST, NEW SOUTH WALES, AUSTRALIA FEBRUARY 17 5:32 a.m. Late summer on the southern coast and the sun was coming up over the torn pink of the cloudy east, the breeze coming in off the ocean warm and light. The house, little more than a bungalow there on the thumb of sea that came into the lagoon, was full of noise -- a baby crying, a young boy's voice as he laughed, the banging of a screen door as a woman and a man moved back and forth from the house to a worn Jeep parked on the yard in front of the house. The woman and the man calling the boy's name. It was the sounds of family, familiar and warm as the ocean breeze. Their voices were as light as the tropical sun, clear as the blue water that lapped the sand by the small boat pier outside the house. A small wooden boat knocked softly on the pilings, the long blanket of pier planks stitched with seabirds, and the trees, pushed by a constant breeze off the sea, leaned as if listening to the people in the house and the land, their backs toward the coming light. * "Come on now! You three are going to make me late!" Mae Porter pushed her long dark hair back, gathering it in a thick ponytail of curls as she leaned over the baby, who had finally stopped crying with the removal of the soaked diaper. Mae finished tying back her hair and smiled down at the baby, the little girl's legs kicking the air in glee as the breeze flowed in the open window, billowing the white of the nursery's curtains. "That's my girl," Mae said, deftly diapering the baby and lifting her up off the changing table, smoothing down the child's green cotton dress, straightening the straps. Mae had slathered the baby in sunblock, which was smeared faintly white across the little arms and the exposed skin of the girl's back. Reaching down, Mae lifted the white hat, the lip of it an uneven scallop of cotton, and laid it on the baby's blonde head. A horn honked, a playful little "shave and a haircut" cadence. "Coming, Joe!" Mae called through the window, hustling through the doorway to the hallway with the baby, the first rays of the morning sun laid out on the wooden floor. Laughter reached her again from the bedroom at the end of the hallway. "Sean," Mae said, loud enough to be heard over the television she heard in the boy's room. "Turn off the cartoons and come on. The boat's leaving in a little while and we're going to make Joe late for work if we don't hurry." The television turned off obediently and Sean exited the room carrying a small backpack covered with dinosaurs, his tank top too large and hanging off one shoulder slightly around the backpack strap. "Let's go put your things in the truck with Katherine's bag and then you can help me carry the cooler and snacks in," she said, putting her hand on the boy's head, ruffling his sandy red hair, bleached by the constant sun. Sean smiled up at her, and Mae smiled back. "You're excited, eh?" she said, pleased. Katherine fussed softly, reaching for her hat, and Mae righted it before the baby could knock the hat off. "Aye," Sean said shyly, his eyes shining. "I hope Joe catches another shark today. A great big one." Mae grinned even wider. "Well, these people he's taking out are looking for shark, he said, so that very well could be," she replied. "I don't know how you can stand it. It scares me to death just to look at the things. All those teeth." She bared her teeth in a facsimile of a snarl at him and provoked another chirp of laughter. The horn sounded again, a little longer now. "Mae! Let's get the show on the road!" Joe's voice carried through the screen door into the house, and she could hear he was as excited as Sean. Joe loved it when they all came along on his charters, the day on the boat like a vacation for them all. "Come on," Mae said, and she and Sean hustled out the front door across the yard toward the Jeep where Joe Porter stood next to the driver's door, smiling at them both, his skin deeply tanned, his T- shirt tight across his chest, his jeans faded almost white. He reached for the baby, and Mae handed Katherine to him. Joe held her up over his head as the baby let out a shrill noise in glee at being swooped up high. Mae looked at him warmly and shouldered the diaper bag into the vehicle's back seat, took Sean's bag and laid it on the floor beside the pink, overstuffed bag. "What do we have left to get?" Joe asked her, jiggling the baby from side to side and smiling up at her. "Just the food," Mae replied. "Then we'll be all set." "You need help?" Joe asked. "No," Mae said, watching Katherine as he dropped her down into his arms, the baby squealing with the sudden movement. "Sean can help me." A gurgle and Katherine spit up, a pale rush of liquid going down the baby's chin and staining the dress' front. "Oh Joe," Mae whined. "You shouldn't be so rough with her right after she's eaten like that." Joe grimaced. "I'm sorry," he said. "You want me to go change her?" Mae gave him a put-upon look but a smile was still curling her lips. "No, just start the car and get the air conditioning up so it's not hot, all right? You know how fussy she gets if she's hot." "Not to mention how fussy *you* are when you get hot," he teased, and leaned in to kiss her quickly as he handed her the baby. "Okay, Sean," Mae said, rubbing the boy's back. "You get the cooler while I change Katherine's dress." "All right," Sean said, and the two of them made their way back to the house. Mae listened to the Jeep's engine start up, a cough, then another, then it finally turned over, rumbling from the yard. She made quick work of putting a fresh dress on Katherine, this one yellow, patterned with sunflowers. The baby's hat back in place to protect her pale, half-Irish skin, Mae made her way to the kitchen where Sean was eating a cookie from the cooler. "Augh, you're as bad as Joe," she said, closing the cooler and handing it to him. "Let's go." They went out the screen door, Mae closing the door behind them. There was no need to lock it. The nearest house was over two miles away, down a long dirt road that led to the main road into town. Music was coming through the open window of the Jeep, and Joe was smiling. Sean tussled the cooler, his body leaned over to the side with the weight and Mae put her arm around his slight shoulders, the baby on her hip. From the direction of the car, a clicking sound. A pop. Mae's brow creased down at the strangeness of the sound, her eyes on Joe, who was looking at the dash, his expression puzzled. Then, memory came back to her. Something buried. Long since pushed away. "Oh God," she breathed, and pulled Sean against her, knocking the cooler from his hand as she pressed his face against her belly. In a split second, in the space of a breath... "JOE!" she screamed, loud enough to break glass. Then flame. The explosion roared up in a cloud of red and orange and black, the sound loud enough to make her ears shriek with pain as the blast wave knocked she and Sean down on the ground, Katherine's crying shrilling in surprise and terror as Mae clenched her against her body, covering the baby's face as glass flew over them, flaming debris raining down. She opened her eyes, the sound of things burning all around her, sat up, tears rushing to her eyes as she looked at the burning wreckage of the Jeep. She couldn't breathe, bile rising up in her throat. In the driver's seat, through the wall of fire, she could see the body burning, Joe slumped over the steering wheel, still, the only thing moving in the vehicle the flames. "NO!" she screamed, and the sound rushed up through her, pushing her to her feet, the baby sprawled on the ground beside her, choking on cries. Beside her, Sean scrambled to his feet, took a step forward and stopped, his small chest rising and falling, his fists clenched at his side. Mae reached for him, grabbed him roughly and spun him away from the sight of Joe's body burning. "Don't look," she said, though she was hyperventilating. The words came out breathy. "God, don't look..." She choked on a sob. Sean was tensed in her arms, shaking uncontrollably. She could feel his fast breath through her light shirt but he made no sound. At her feet, Katherine screamed, the sound rising with the roar of the fire, the baby's small fists clenching the ground. *********** BANGKOK GARDENS ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA FEBRUARY 23 7:34 p.m. The place was warm and smelled deliciously of spice, the walls lined with ornate paintings flecked with gold, the light dim and candles illuminating the waiting area. The late dinner crowd was just starting to filter into the posh restaurant, the coat check area clogged with people in nice dresses and suits. Thai music filtered in from the dining area, lilting with its exotic and somehow mournful sounds. Scully stood beside the large picture window that overlooked the street, her belly full from the delicious meal and a sweet feeling of ease settling over her. She glanced over at Mulder, looking smart in his dark suit as he waited in the line with Granger to get their coats. Mulder was laughing over something Granger was telling him, and she loved the look of his face as he did it. It was a look she'd seen more and more of from him in the past months. She was getting used to seeing him smile. And she'd been smiling herself a lot in the past months, as well. She was doing it now, a small secret smile as her hand came around and touched the slight, firm bulge of her belly. She'd just started to show that week, the top button of her neatly fitted slacks not closing for the first time when she'd started the work week on Monday. Mulder had come out of the bathroom and caught her standing there, her fingers on the button and its hole, staring at the scant inch of new space between them in something akin to surprise. He'd come forward, a towel around his waist but still dripping water from the shower, and slid his hand down her belly between the open flaps of her shirt. He settled his fingers in the space between her pants, caressed the new firmness there. "You're beautiful," he'd said softly, and the tone of his voice had made her look up from his fingers, into his eyes. "Tell me that in a few more months," she'd quipped, but she'd felt a flush rise on her cheeks. The idea of the baby, still so new to her even after all these weeks, was suddenly so wondrously real. He'd leaned forward and kissed her then, his lips warm against hers. She held the kiss for a long time, her hands going to his cheeks. "I will," he'd whispered when they'd parted, keeping his face close as though afraid someone else might hear. "Believe me. I will." She looked up as Mulder came forward with her coat and his, looting around in the side pocket of his suit jacket. Granger was still behind him at the coat room, the next in line, and Robin returned from the restroom and joined him there. Mulder finally found what he was looking for, the valet parking ticket, and handed the slip of paper to a young Asian man standing by the door. The man went out the glass doors into the street, a blast of winter filtering into the warm room as the door swung closed. Another man appeared from the side of the waiting area to take the other's place. "Here you go," Mulder said, and handed Scully her coat. She shouldered into the heavy wool, and he did the same, watching her. "You still feeling queasy?" he asked gently, standing close. She buttoned her coat, looked down as she did so. "I'm all right," she said. "It's better than before. Eating helped." "Phad Kapou done extra spicy helped?" he asked, amusement in his voice. "We're going to have to buy this baby asbestos diapers if these cravings keep up." She laughed, looked up at him. "It wasn't a craving this time," she said. "It's just what I wanted for my birthday." "You wanted heartburn for your birthday?" he replied, his eyes mischievous. "No," she replied patiently. "I wanted a delicious meal in a fancy restaurant." She nodded toward Granger and Robin. "And time with our friends. And a night out with you." He made a soft affirmative noise and she inched closer to him, her eyes searching his out. "There's something else I want for my birthday," she murmured, loud enough for only him to hear. "Oh yeah?" he replied, matching her tone. "Mmm hmm," she said, nodding, her lips curling, and smoothed down his lapel. He searched her face and then chuckled softly. "Does that mean it was your birthday yesterday, too?" he asked, and now she did blush, which made him laugh again. "Don't make fun of me," she admonished, but she couldn't hide the smile on her face. "Oh, I'm not making fun," Mulder assured, shaking his head. He cupped her cheek, brushing her cheekbone with his thumb. "But have I told you how much I love the second trimester?" And she laughed and touched his wrist, her eyes shining up at his. "You don't have to tell me," she murmured, bemused. "It shows." Granger and Robin came up beside them, both of them putting on their coats. Granger moved a little slowly, and Robin had to hold the right side open for him as he reached back to slide his arm in the sleeve. "You can do it, Grandpa," Robin teased as Granger grimaced at the motion. "Very funny," Granger replied, and she pushed the shoulder up, settling the coat on his body. "How's it feeling?" Scully asked, taking a step away from Mulder and looking at Granger with concern. "I noticed you were holding yourself a little stiffly at dinner." "Eh, it's all right," Granger said casually. "I just had physical therapy today and you know how that is. They're working on adhesions and it's slow going." The gunshot wound he'd suffered had done a lot of damage to the muscles in his shoulder and back and chest. Scully was frankly surprised he was doing as well as he was, hurt as badly as he'd been. Granger held up a ticket for the new valet by the door, who came forward and took it and headed out into the cold. Scully watched him go, saw she and Mulder's car pull into the valet spot out in front of the building, the driver getting out and coming around the idylling vehicle, rubbing his hands together for warmth. Robin was looting around her purse and brought out a small wrapped box, festooned with a bright foil ribbon. She smiled as she held it up in front of Scully. "This," she said, "is just a little something from both of us for you to open when you feel like it." Scully felt her face redden again and she looked at the box shyly, took it, and accepted Robin's warm embrace. "Thank you so much," she replied. "I'm sure I'll love it, whatever it is." They parted, and Scully squeezed Granger's good arm, returned his gentle smile. "Happy birthday, Dana," Granger said, and smiled wider. A couple was coming into the restaurant, and as the door opened, Scully heard a series of clicks, then a popping sound, like a cork coming off a bottle of champagne. The couple turned toward the street, and Scully and Mulder did, as well, Granger and Robin looking around them at the door. "What was that?" Mulder asked. Scully's brow creased. "I don't know," she said. "But it sounded like it was coming from our--" A flash. A terrible deafening sound. Scully felt seering pain in her ears as the pressure in the room changed suddenly, her hands going up to guard her eyes against the light. Then nothing but the sound of glass shattering, the roar of fire and heat. Nothing but the feel of her body tumbling backward in a cloud of splintered wood and glass. The sound of screaming, the heaviness of bodies crashing against hers and the sudden feeling of impact against her head, her side. In a haze of pain, she heard someone shouting her name. Then she heard and felt nothing. Nothing at all. ********** END OF PROLOGUE. CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 1.